So when we are faced with a 'challenging moment' in our parenting, we need to stop and think.
If we just react to the surface problem we can miss the root of the issue and so will find ourselves in a cycle of futility that will not reap any changes.
So how do we get to the heart of the issue?
First, we need to look at the basics of obedience and self-control. Have we been consistent with our instructions and consequences? Have we been training the positive virtues in times of non-conflict? Is the child in charge of the day or is our gentle authority evident?
Here are a few examples of what the heart issue may be for various scenarios. These may be a result of disobedience and a lack of self-control and/or something deeper:
* Stealing - attention seeking
- discontent
- envy
* "go-slow" - attention seeking
- day dreaming
- passive aggressive behaviour
* anger outbursts - selfishness
- justice
- attention seeking
* independent play struggles - attention seeking
- selfishness
- lack of self-play adeptness practice
* sibling arguments - attention seeking
- selfishness
- lack of conflict resolution skills
So, my consequennce for each issue will vary depending on the specific heart issue.
This takes thought and effort yet yields good fruit.
