Legacy Leaving

Two really special people left my school this last week.
Although it was quite hard to see them go,
both are moving on to wonderful new adventures.
So I was sad for me but happy for them.

Each had contributed so much to the school, and to my life.
I feel quite blessed to have spent this time together.

However, it made me think about what legacy I am leaving.
In my work, my family, my friends.
We are all leaving something.
I guess I desire to more intentionally
leave a worthy eternal legacy.
Through my students, my friends, my speaking, my writing, and my children.

Kip Kindness

When Sam was born, Emily and Caleb were initially a little upset when he cried.
so I explained to them that Sam didn't have any words yet, so he 'spoke' by crying.

When Sam was hungry, he would 'say' that he was ready to be fed. When Sam was wanting some company he would 'ask' for some attention, and company was rewarded with a beaming smile.
When Sam had a wet or smelly nappy, he would 'say' that he was uncomfortable. (Emily was especially quick to interpret this 'speech'!) When Sam was tired, we popped him in his cot and allowed him to learn how to fall asleep by himself, and stay asleep for a full nap. Em and Caleb happily saw that we kindly responded to Sam's needs in a timely and consistent fashion.

Likewise for my precious toddlers. I perservered through training them each to have an afternoon nap or quiet time. This was ultimately the kindest action. A tired toddler is an unhappy toddler, usually with a grumpy mum too. A well rested toddler is a happy one!

Jot Jottings

It is fun to keep a record of the humourous and delightful sayings of your precious little one.

In the hectic pace of this season, it is easy to let this slide.
I kept their blue baby book (communinty health record book)
in a drawer near the dining table. Here it was quick and easy
to jot down a hilarious saying or priceless moment.

These moments would take a mere minute to write down,
but thesoe little jottings are so valued now.
Although we do all hope to keep our memories and mind
intact for many years, it is nice to have a written reminder!!

Insistent Interrupting

A toddler does not need to say
"mummy, mummy, MUMMY!" when they want your attention.

A toddler can be taught to interrupt quietly,
with their lips closed,
and one hand on your arm or leg.

They can be taught to wait quietly until you look at their eyes
and give them your full attention.
This teaches them patience and
respect for the person mummy is speaking to (in person or on the phone).

Practice this in the form of a role playing game,
keeping it short, light and fun.
Your toddler will catch on in a few weeks.
Making life more pleasant for all!!

Happy Hearts

What is the best way to teach and train a toddler's heart?

The calmest, kindest, most effective manner seems to be within the context of a flexible routine.

A fairly predictable day means less 'no' for mum and child and tangible progress can be made.

Happy Hearts can be developed through the teaching of the virtues of kindness, goodness, gentleness, cheeerfulness, helpfulness, quietness, obedience and self-control.

Bit by bit, all day, every day, using each ordinary every day activity as a teaching opportunity.

A Happy Heart makes for a happy toddler!!

Grand Goals

Can you articulate your parenting goal?

Do you know what you are hoping to achieve after 18 odd years of parenting?

I can pretty much sum up my heart desires for my children in a few sentences.
The list is not too long when you focus on the crucuial bits.

What are you doing in this season of your parenting towards you goal?
This month? This week? This day?

We need to know where we are going.
We also need to know how we are going to get there.

Everyday Eternity

What lasts for eternity?

What can I do today that will last for eternity?

Throughout the endless cycle of meals, messes,
maladies and mischief, in my toddler's day,
I can look toward eternity.
To focus my thoughts and energies on the things that truely matter.

I can use this day to teach my toddler a little more kindness,
a little more patience, a little more gentleness.

And not sweat on the temporary small stuff.

Digging Dirt

Toddlers love to potter outside.
My boys in particular loved to dig in the dirt.

Some friends were very organised and had little
gardens of vegies and flowers for their children.

We just had dirt!!

It was their little patch to dig and create as they wished.
To dig roads and tunnels for cars.
To dig dirt for Wombat Stew.
For making mud pies and mud cakes and mud dinners.
To bury treasures.
To create moonscapes.

To imagine and to play.
Just as little boys should.

Calm Consistency

Sometimes I had no idea what to do.

I knew I had to do something, but didn't know exactly what.

Sometimes, later, I decided that I had chosen the wrong path.

That was okay, I would try something else next time.

Responding calmly was 'how' I would consistently do the 'what'.
To model self-control to my child. To model gentleness.
To demonstrate my love.

Calm consistency reaps peaceful fruit. Eventually.

Angry Anger

Where do you sit on the whole 'expresing emotions' spectrum?

Should toddlers be encouraged to express their feelings and frustrations to
enhance their individuality and honesty?

Should toddlers be encouraged to show restraint in regard to negative
emotions to suppress these undesirable urges?

Which path is a stepping stone to future socially acceptable behaviour?

For me?
My toddlers were welcome to be as grumpy as they liked.
Sitting on their bed.

A happy face and a cheerful spirit were welcome in all other parts of the house.
Worked amazingly well.

Yucky Yelling

Have you ever had anyone really, really yell at you?

How did you feel? I just want to run away and hide.

One of the things that most saddens my heart is seeing toddlers being yelled at.
When I witness this, often in the supermarket, I long to take mum and toddler home
and love them both for a week. Both are so unhappy in that moment.

To show and model a way that trains with gentleness,
patience,
grace and love.

To help mums enjoy their children, as well as to love them.

Unique Uniqueness

My child is different.

Of course!

Each child is unique.

Hence the method, timeframe and challenges will be individual.

The goal is the same.

All children need self-control.

Then they can be taught cheerfulness, helpfulness, obedience, diligence, contentment . . . . . . . . . .

Joyful Joy

Have you noticed that if you are grumpy,
everyone is grumpy?

Seems a little unfair sometimes,
but mum does seem to set the tone for the family.

Try having a happy song to start each day.
A special wake up ritual of hugs or tickles.
Cheerful words to head the day in the right direction.

Deliberately choose a happy, contented,
joyful outlook throughout your day.
Watch your little ones follow your lead.

The Valley of Vision

Thou hast brought me to the valley of vision,
Where I live in the depths but see the heights.

Let me learn that the valley is the place of vision.

Lord, in the daytime stars can be seen from the deepest wells,
And the deeper the wells, the brighter the stars shine.

Let me find Thy in my darkness, Thy life in my death,
Thy joy in my sorrow, Thy grace in my sin,
Thy riches in my poverty, Thy glory in my valley.

Only Once

I have had the joy recently of catching up with a couple of people from different areas of my life 20 years ago. It is so lovely to revive sweet memories and share stories of our life journeys.

It has also made me reflect on the fact that we only get one chance to live
this day,
this week ,
this year.

I loved the toddler years with my children. I loved being with them each day and teaching and guiding their precious little hearts. They are only toddlers once.

Enjoy each moment and make wise choices to maximise this special "only-once" stage.

Zip and Zap

Zip and Zap. Okay, yes, I was stuggling to come up with some words starting with Z!!

However these words can relate to speed.

Do you hear yourself saying "Hurry Up" to your toddler as you are trying to get out of the door?
What does "hurry Up" mean to your toddler? Probably not a great deal. They are concrete thinkers at this age. They need to SEE, FEEL or DO to understand.

Practice packing up quickly (at a time when you are NOT rushing out the door). We would ask our toddler to press his speed button, on his tummy, and then pack up his toys fast. We would do this with him for the first few weeks to show exactly what 'fast' looked like, It was noisy and fun and quick.

Then when we were in a hurry, we could press our speed buttons and zip and zap out the door!!

Limitless Learning

Almost every activity in your day can be used as an opportuninty for learning.

Academic teaching of ABC's, 123's, seasons, nursery rhymes, weather, colours, shapes, animals, etc, etc can be taught directly, as you talk to your toddler or concretely through play.

Nature walks are a wonderful way to slow down and enjoy your toddler. I would walk around the block with them, with no agenda in mind. We would stop and examine the flowers, the bugs on the ground, the cars going past, the animals in the yards and just chat about each one.

Virtue teaching can be part of each activity too. Model manners at meal times, sing cheerfulness songs at bath time, talk about being a busy helper during chores time, role play kindness with dolls or trucks during play time and so on.

Being a toddler teacher is an all day, every day job with awesome, long-lasting rewards!!

Toy Tidiness

Have a system for your toys.

We had ten litre, blue and red, rectangular tubs for most of the toys.
This made starting play time super quick as I could just grab one tub and knew they could play.
It made pack up wonderfully easy too, as right from the start we would pack up one tub before we pulled out the next one. So I never ended the day with a mountain of toys to sort and put away.
We had a tub each for Duplo, trains, cars, wooden blocks, dolls, tea set, animals, instruments, craft, puzzles, card games, and a 'bits' box filled with odds and ends toys that were not a set.
If the 'bits' tub was getting too full, then it was time to have a quick sort through and start a bag of toys to pop into a charity bin, to share with others.

Pieces were rarely lost or broken, and dad came home to a clean house too - mostly!!

Kitchen Kindness

Most household injuries involving small children occur in the bathroom and kitchen.

By never allowing my toddlers into the kitchen we avoided any kitchen incidents.
As they began to crawl, I would calmly and consistently turn then away from the entrance to the kitchen with a quiet but firm"That's a no". I would simply pick them up and return them to the other side of the lounge room that contained their toys. One child needed three reminders, another three days worth, and another about three weeks of patient training before they understood that the kitchen was off limits.

As they grew, they enjoyed special baking, mixing and creating times with mum in the kitchen, never alone.

As they grew a little more, they enjoyed learning how to put simple meals together and how to manage basic chores.

Now every week they each cook a whole family meal - and clean up!!

Games Games

What can I do with my toddler all day?

One of the most enjoyable times of my day with my toddler was our special one-on-one time.
My toddler enjoyed having mummy play with him, and I enjoyed all the teaching opportunintes I could incorporate into this time, as well as all the hugs, tickles and kissess!

Puzzles were a daily event. Starting with the wooden ones, and moving to the cardboard framed type which we would do line by line. I would take out the bottom row for a week, the the bottom two rows the next, and so on, until my 18 month old could manage 48 or 64 piece puzzles.

Memory games were another favourite. We would start with 4 cards, then 6, then 8 and by age 3 they could manage the full set. Flash cards were fun for lining up, repeating and sorting. Blocks were great for tunnels and towers, as well as teaching colours and counting. Cars and trains were just for fun, although focusing and concentrating skills were developed as we would put together the train set, or move all the cars into the parking station.

Hide-n-seek, chasings, races, musical marching band, dancing, tunnel (made from sheets and blankets) play, play wrestling were all active games greatly enjoyed by us both, especially on rainy indoor days!!

Endless Energy

Do you have a bouncy, always moving toddler? They are a huge delight.

To manage all that energy, ensure that your daily schedule is balanced between short, quiet, sitting activities and long, outdoor, busy activities.

Twenty minutes of high chair activity time (this broken up into two activities like playdoh and drawing) could be followed by sixty to ninety minutes of outside play with balls, bats, a sandpit, bikes, skateboards, scooters, a swing set and a trampoline.

Making mud pies, bush (leaf and twig) stews, gardening, outside painting and 'large' craft projects, constructing spaceships and cubbies out of boxes and left over wood were some messy, fun activities outisde that also provided a creative outlet for this endless energy.

Caleb was quite happy with two outside playtimes each day, but Sam often needed three!

Attitude Actions

As mothers to toddlers, much of our day is cyclic.
Meals, cleaning, washing, toys out, toys in,
the same daily instructions over and over throughout the day.
This is not very exciting or motivating by itself.

However, when we see each part of the day
as an opportunity to train positive attitudes
and virtues into our child's heart, the whole day is meaningful.

Meal times can foster an attitude of thankfulness. Little tots can sign their "thanks", while toddlers can rote learn a simple thankyou phrase.

Packing up toys time can foster an attitude of orderliness and respect for the toys they own.

Chores time can foster an attitude of helpfulness, as even the toddler senses he is an important member of the family unit.

How you give instructions, and how you teach your child to respond (deliberate or unintentional training) can foster a spirit of cheerfulness (or the opposite).

And so on throughout the day.

Every day has multiple moments to teach attitude actions. Enjoy the journey!

eXtreme eXcitement

Plan and enjoy moments of excitement for your toddlers.

Our teens still fondly recall the 'midnight' snacks which involved a 30 cents icecream drive-thru (only ten minutes after they had been put to bed) but quite dark in winter!

The inside picnics for dinner on the lounge room floor was also a highlight.

Most exciting of all was being allowed to sleep in their makeshift tent of blankets and sheets in the lounge room, with dad for safety!

Treasure hunts (with pictures as clues) to find a gift, sock wars, trains, tea parties, obstacle courses for ride-ons or prams and new arts and crafts are so special to your toddler.

Excitement and fun that is long remembered and cherished.

Nightly Nightmares

The first thing to look at is your daily schedule. Do you have a balanced, flexible routine that includes focus time with mum and independent play opportunities? Is the toddler receiving adequate naps and healthy meals and snacks? Is the daily environment peaceful and calm or noisy and disorderly?

Next look at possible sources of fear.Books, TV, movies, unexplained situations, words or actions of older sibling, children or even adults that can be misconstrued.

Role play how your child could respond to their fear. We would give our toddler something to do (eg turn on a night light or have a sip of water), something to say (eg one siple phrase or one sentence prayer) and something to think ( a new dream about butterflies and flowers or bears and trucks.

This will help you nip this issue in the bud before it develops into a sleep problem. More importantly you are giving your precious little one the skills and self-control to hande their fears.