Thursday, May 21, 2015

Looking back: Teen Mum #2





Positive #1

So thankful I chose to hang out with other like-minded mums. It encouraged me to keep going and to know that I wasn't alone in my parenting journey.

Positive #2

So grateful that I was able to stay at home when my two girls were tiny and then to only work part time when they were at school.

I loved spending time with them, just playing and doing craft and being present for all their milestones. I have a record of the little things they used to do and say and that is a lovely memory now.

Wish

I do wish I had been more firm with my bossy child when she was young. I paid for it later as we had to deal with bigger issues in her pre-teen years.

I enjoy my two beautiful teen girls now and have a lovely relationship with each of them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Looking Back: Teen Mum #1



 

At a recent GEMS meeting a few mums of teens shared some advice from their own parenting journey.


They each shared two things they were glad they had done when their teens were toddlers, and one thing they regret not doing.


The young mums who were there really appreciated this advice so I thought I would share their words of wisdom here.

 

1. I’m so glad my husband and I had coach time most nights. This was just a time each night when my husband and I would spend 10 – 15 minutes talking together. The children were not allowed to interrupt and we were giving them a tangible reminder of the priority of the marriage relationship.


2. I’m so glad I had a flexible routine. This was more helpful to me than the children at times! It helped make the myriad of tasks I has to perform each day manageable. It also gave me a basis plan for my day as opposed to making all the decisions on the spot.


3. I most regret my lack of consistency. So often this was the root of a particular issue. I know the importance of consistency in terms of training godly character qualities into the hearts of my children. This is still something I am working on!

 

 

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

No's



 

My day is filled with ‘no’s’. This is not fun for me or my toddler.

How can I make the day more manageable for him and me?

 

Toddlers are busy.

They love to run, explore and play.

They enjoy talking and singing and being loud.

They are little and still fairly new at this thing called life.

We are big and fairly experienced at this thing called life.

So we should be in charge of the day.

We have been around longer and understand the importance of nutrition, safety, sleep requirements and varied indoor and outdoor play opportunities.

Having a pattern for the day that includes a balance between quiet and slow activities with the loud and busy activities is best.

Print out the pattern for the day (with pictures) and place it in a prominent place in the house. Refer to it often.

Watch most of the ‘no’s’ disappear within a few weeks. J

Wednesday, March 25, 2015


 


I have two beautiful children – a  3 year old and an 18 month old.

My day is chaos. Please help.

This is a busy season for you. Each day will be long and full.

There will be messes and tears.

This is very normal.

To make things a little bit more manageable for you and calmer for you and your precious wee ones, try to have a bit of a pattern for your day.

Balance the day between independent play times ( so they learn self-play adeptness skills and you get a chance to tacckle some household tasks),
some focus play time (where you enjoy this special stage and their little love tank is filled to overflowing),
some sibling play time (at a time when you can supervise and promote their friendship)
and some side-by-side play times (where you work on household tasks while they enjoy their play).

Let the pattern be a help to you, not a stress.
On a lovely sunny day your outside play may take up most of the morning.
On a grumpy, grizzly day, the TV time may be extended.

Have an idea of what the day will look like yet be prepared for change too!

Monday, February 23, 2015

Tiredness Tantrums


 


 

Tiredness tantrums

Pre-tantrum

1. Model self-control and patience yourself

2. Look at your weekly pattern. Do you have a mix of home days and out days in the week? Check your daily pattern. Do you have a mix of busy activities and quiet activities each day?

3. Ensure you have a ritual that you follow before nap and night time sleep that is predictable and calming to help prepare them for long, continuous sleep patterns.

Mid-tantrum

1. Do not give them an audience

2. Do not try and dialogue with them

3. Pop them into bed for a nap

Post-tantrum

1. Cuddle them and tell them that you love them

2. Re-evaluate your patterns. Do you need to be home more? Do you need to mplement some quiet play periods into each day? Do you need to move nap or bedtime sleep times?

3 Gently and patiently teach self-control so that they can choose right even when they are tired.

 

Frustration Tantrums



 

Frustration Tantrums

These are caused by the limitations of their development. Examples include trying to fit a bike between a tree and a fence, waiting for a turn in a board game, having a doll sit up for the tea party or stacking blocks in a high tower.

 

Pre-tantrum

1. Model self-control and patience yourself

2. Sit and play with your child and demonstrate how to do the challenging task

3. Teach the child to raise his hand to ask for help rather than fusss

Mid-tantrum

1. Do not give them an audience

2. Do not try and dialogue with them

3. Remove the object of frustration and isolate the child until they are calm

Post-tantrum

1. Administer a meaningful age appropriate consequence

2. Role-play expected behaviour for next time. Practice riding the bike and then asking for help when the bike gets stuck. Play tea parties with the dolls and model asking for assistance to sit the dolls up.

3. Gently and patiently teach obedience and self-control so they can choose right even when they are frustrated.

 

HOPE

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Hope


Each morning that greets me is full of hope.


Not because I am successful at what I am doing,


Or because the people near me appreciate me,


Or because circumstances are easy,


But because


God


is,


And He is my Father.


To look at the morning any other way


is to believe a lie.


To live in hope is to live in truth;


To live in truth is to bring Him glory;


To bring God glory in my daily living


is the highest from of worship.


Timothy Lane and Paul David Tripp