Sunday, July 12, 2015

Parenting Pre-schoolers #3


Parenting Pre-schoolers: A Positive Practical Parenting Seminar
Questions from Dapto, NSW, Mums
 
If you take their dinner away uneaten, do you keep it in case they want to eat it later?
This is up to you.
I just gave them their milk at the end of the meal and moved on with the day. They would then eat at the next meal. This helped my toddlers learn very quickly that meal time was for eating. It also stopped food dominating the evening. Once dinner was over it was over.
 
How do I deal with my 4 year old’s bad response to my decisions?
You will do this with calm consistency.
Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Do no change your decision. Stand firm and do not dialogue over the issue. Have an east-to-implement consequence and enforce this every time.
In times of non-conflict talk about appropriate ways to respond and the reasons why you need this response. Praise good choices.
 
 
 
 
How can I make toilet training a positive experience for my 3 year old?
Shopping together for big boy/girl pants before you start can add to the anticipation.
I did not expect my child to initiate at first so I simply added toilet visits to the pattern for the day.
So the chart would indicate when it was time to visit the bathroom.
Charts with stamps and stickers were helpful at first to motivate the new behaviour.
A small treat (e.g. one jelly bean) for each success was greatly enjoyed J
 
My 4 year old gets out of bed multiple times in the evening with excuses for another drink, toilet visit, a runny nose, itchy bite etc, etc, etc. What can I do?
This can be a cry for attention. This may mean they are either getting too much attention during the day and so are continuing to demand it at night. Or it may mean they are getting too little attention during the day and so are demanding it at night.
For both situations, it is important to balance the day with independent play activities and focused activities in-between the side-by-side activities that will dominate the day.
Independent play activities will ensure that the child is learning self-play adaptive skills and can learn to be content with their own company. Examples include room play, outside play and video watching.
Focus play activities will ensure they feel loved and important. A few minutes of undivided attention from the parent will ensure their emotional love tank is full and they do not need to act out to receive attention.
Before bedtime role play the expected response and explain the reward for obedience and the consequence for disobedience. Your calm consistency will reap fruit.
 
My little 3.5 year old wakes up at night from her dreams. She is not hungry or thirsty. How should I respond?
This could be the result of a number of issues.
First check that there is no physical reason for this such as illness or being too hot or cold, an outside noise or too much or too little light.
Then check to see if she can explain what is happening.
Then check her input during the day. Is it a screen image or book story that has caused the upset? An active imagination can be quite sensitive to this.
Then check your weekly schedule. Are you out every day? Over stimulation can cause disrupted sleep.
Finally check your daily schedule. Is there a balance between quiet, alone activities and noisy, busy activities with others? Constant noise, movement and people stimulation can also cause disrupted sleep.
When she does wake, calmly, quietly and quickly resettle her. This will teach her that night time is for sleeping.