How can I teach my 20 month old how to play with the newborn without squashing her and firmly patting her?
Emily was very excited hen Sam was born and wanted to 'help' all the time with him and cuddle him constantly.
To make their time together as positive as possible, I was always nearby when they were together.
I explained 'gentle' touch to Emily by showing her soft and slow touching on her arm. We talked about how Sam's arms and legs could be touched, but his face could not be poked or prodded.
Through encouragement, and very close supervision of set 'play' times with Sam during the day I was able to calmly and consistently set up a good pattern for their time together.
What age is a good age to start giving expectations and having consequences?
This is a great question.
As early as possible is the answer.
When Caleb was only a toddler we would praise his good choices and shower him with hugs and kisses for right behaviour. This was enforcing the message that when you do right you will feel right.
When he made a deliberate unwise choice, we tried to have quiet but firm consequences so he would learn to change his choice.
Calm consistency was the key.
Whilst setting in place, brick by brick, our solid, stable and long lasting style of parenting, what strategies/advice can you give to help us mums 'keep our cool', minimise our tendencies to yell in frustration?
Having a pattern for my day eliminated many frustrations.
A set time for chores, rest, play with the children and teaching times enabled me to make the most of every day and juggle my hats of mum, wife and home maker. It enabled my house to be relative tidy and clean and for my children to be engaged in meaningful play each day.
Lots of prayer helped my spirit to remain calm and peaceful more often.
Remembering that my model was my mot powerful teaching tool motivated me to model patience and a kind tongue rather than loud, angry words - most of the time.
How do you stop a teenager arguing about everything?
Take them out for a milk shake one afternoon.
Chat about bits and pieces of the week.
Then mention that you are not happy with the communication in the house and that things need to change.
Raise just one or two points of change. (You don't want to overwhelm yourself or your teen by trying to change everything at once.)
Calmly state what is now expected and what the consequences will be if they choose to argue over these issues.
Be calm and consistent in your application.
So for example, say there are issues about the time spent on the computer.
You may now have a timer start and finish the pre-arranged allotted time.
If they exceed the time or 'forget' to start the timer, then they lose that privilege for the next month.
What if you thought you were building a brick house, but child is making wrong choices at age 11/12?
All children have a season of wrong choice making.
Have a milkshake together or do an activity together and see if you can get to the 'why' behind the 'what'.
Shower them with your love and acceptance.
Have fun as a family.
Plan some surprises for them.
Choose a few good friends for them and make your home very available for them.
Keep teaching good and right into their lives.
Pray without ceasing.
What part does routine and organisation play in raising responsible kids?
I think it lays the foundation for future success in all areas of life.
A holy and disciplined life is one that is pleasing to Jesus.
Planning out your day means you accomplish what needs to be done first, you can prioritise other people and you can ensure that you are refreshed too.
It leads to quietness of home and heart, and the fruits of self-control.
A joy.
