Hello,
A month after my lovely (very warm!) weekend in Adelaide I have finally finished the school term. So now I can answer the questions asked during the night meeting there. Please note they are only general answers, please email with more details if you would like a more specific answer to your query.
I once emailed a reply to a toddler issue. The mum wrote back and said she had implemented 70% of what I had said. I was delighted! She had thought through her situation and applied the relevent principles to her own context. May you prayfully do the same.
Do you believe there are alternatives to spanking that work as well with children?
Absolutely!
Logical consequences that correspond to the behaviour are best. Elevating good and focusing on the positive are very effective. Isolation for under 2 yr olds is helpful, spanking for deliberate disobedience for a 2 - 5 yr old is appropriate, while older children receive more 'feeling' from related consequences.
My almost 20 month old snatched her bottle - is this the first sign of attitude?
Maybe.
It could be a move towards independence (wonderful!) or it could be a sign of impatience. Look for a pattern then determine how best to proceed.
My 20 month old says 'no' when asked to do something.
Minimise your asking.
Simply take the child to the bath, don't ask if they want a bath.
Use a firmer voice for direct instructions and have a calm and consistent consequence for every disobedience. Role pay 'yes mummy' games so the consequences for compliances or not are very clear.
How do you handle toddler tantrums while shopping?
Go home.
Have a very memorable consequence then.
Think through the time you are going shoppng (not too tired or too hungry,
too late, too long or simply too often).
Talk through the expected behaviours on the way to the shops, in a happy encouraging voice.
How do you help 5 - 8 years olds resolve their own conflicts?
Practice.
Model, practice, practice, encourage, practice, practice!
When they were calm we would have them come together and each give an explanation,
then a possible solution each then finally a compromise.
Many many months of modelling and talking through this process will finally result in siblings who can (eventually!) work out their own issues.
Do you have any tips for a toddler who lies?
Focus on honesty.
As you go through your every-day routine, talk about being true.
Speaking right.
Have stories focusing on honest words, have craft that is made of caterpillars (or wahatever!)
that speak words of truth.
Focus on the hearers feeling happy (for true words) or sad (for untrue words).
Appropriate consequences for an 8 yr old girl?
no T.V.
no friends over
no treat foods
no free paly time
no choices for clothes or books
early bed time
mum's shadow at home and while out
no music
no computer surfing
no social networking chatting
extra chores
needs to ask for everything
no DVD's
no shopping
no hobbies or activites
mum-strucutred morning and evening routine.
