Perfectionism has a beautiful place in this world - in the arts, sports, music, crafts, dance.
However it is extremely damaging in relationships.
Expecting perfection in ourselves as parents, or in our children,
or in any relationship is unrealistic and harmful.
Real life and real people are filled with faults. Acknowledging, accepting, forgiving and even (sometimes!) enjoying these moments is crucial for today, and for modelling to our children how to cope with the real world of study, work and relationships in adulthood.
Enjoy the beauty of ballet, that unbelievable soccer goal or magnificent musical piece,
and the imperfection of people.
Friday, February 27, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Overall Objective
My Emily has just had her first book completed.
It is a great achievement for a 13 year old. Sure I'm proud of her.
However if she wrote 100 books in her lifetime,
yet did not love and care for her God and for others,
I would feel quite sad.
Sure I want my children to do their best at school, sports,
music, drama, public speaking and so on.
Mostly, my overall objective is for their character,
their heart, to be the best it can be.
It is a great achievement for a 13 year old. Sure I'm proud of her.
However if she wrote 100 books in her lifetime,
yet did not love and care for her God and for others,
I would feel quite sad.
Sure I want my children to do their best at school, sports,
music, drama, public speaking and so on.
Mostly, my overall objective is for their character,
their heart, to be the best it can be.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Naturally Naughty
Every toddler is born beautiful (or handsome!) and each is so special.
Delightful moments of laughter, silly games, funny sayings and poignant memories characterise their life. The daily hard work is punctuated with incredible feelings of love, joy and thankfulness.
Yet, as parents we have a job to do. Despite the gorgeous personality, the character needs some work. The desire to be self-pleasing and self-ruling is naturally evident in each little life. A parent needs to gently and consistently model right from wrong, virtues, habits and life philosophy.
The naturally naughty can be guided towards mostly naturally nice!
Delightful moments of laughter, silly games, funny sayings and poignant memories characterise their life. The daily hard work is punctuated with incredible feelings of love, joy and thankfulness.
Yet, as parents we have a job to do. Despite the gorgeous personality, the character needs some work. The desire to be self-pleasing and self-ruling is naturally evident in each little life. A parent needs to gently and consistently model right from wrong, virtues, habits and life philosophy.
The naturally naughty can be guided towards mostly naturally nice!
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Magnificent Mud
Do let your boys be boys.
Playing in the mud, driving bikes through a mud puddle, playing cars and trucks in it, and of course making mud pies is wonderful fun for messy toddler boys!
Yes, they are experiencing the sensaation of oozy, wet mud, but mostly they are simply enjoying playing.
Pop them outside in an old set of clothes, then strip them down in the laundry when they are done and pop them in a lovely warm bath.
It will be the highlight of their day!
Playing in the mud, driving bikes through a mud puddle, playing cars and trucks in it, and of course making mud pies is wonderful fun for messy toddler boys!
Yes, they are experiencing the sensaation of oozy, wet mud, but mostly they are simply enjoying playing.
Pop them outside in an old set of clothes, then strip them down in the laundry when they are done and pop them in a lovely warm bath.
It will be the highlight of their day!
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Legacy Leaving
Two really special people left my school this last week.
Although it was quite hard to see them go,
both are moving on to wonderful new adventures.
So I was sad for me but happy for them.
Each had contributed so much to the school, and to my life.
I feel quite blessed to have spent this time together.
However, it made me think about what legacy I am leaving.
In my work, my family, my friends.
We are all leaving something.
I guess I desire to more intentionally
leave a worthy eternal legacy.
Through my students, my friends, my speaking, my writing, and my children.
Although it was quite hard to see them go,
both are moving on to wonderful new adventures.
So I was sad for me but happy for them.
Each had contributed so much to the school, and to my life.
I feel quite blessed to have spent this time together.
However, it made me think about what legacy I am leaving.
In my work, my family, my friends.
We are all leaving something.
I guess I desire to more intentionally
leave a worthy eternal legacy.
Through my students, my friends, my speaking, my writing, and my children.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Kip Kindness
When Sam was born, Emily and Caleb were initially a little upset when he cried.
so I explained to them that Sam didn't have any words yet, so he 'spoke' by crying.
When Sam was hungry, he would 'say' that he was ready to be fed. When Sam was wanting some company he would 'ask' for some attention, and company was rewarded with a beaming smile.
When Sam had a wet or smelly nappy, he would 'say' that he was uncomfortable. (Emily was especially quick to interpret this 'speech'!) When Sam was tired, we popped him in his cot and allowed him to learn how to fall asleep by himself, and stay asleep for a full nap. Em and Caleb happily saw that we kindly responded to Sam's needs in a timely and consistent fashion.
Likewise for my precious toddlers. I perservered through training them each to have an afternoon nap or quiet time. This was ultimately the kindest action. A tired toddler is an unhappy toddler, usually with a grumpy mum too. A well rested toddler is a happy one!
so I explained to them that Sam didn't have any words yet, so he 'spoke' by crying.
When Sam was hungry, he would 'say' that he was ready to be fed. When Sam was wanting some company he would 'ask' for some attention, and company was rewarded with a beaming smile.
When Sam had a wet or smelly nappy, he would 'say' that he was uncomfortable. (Emily was especially quick to interpret this 'speech'!) When Sam was tired, we popped him in his cot and allowed him to learn how to fall asleep by himself, and stay asleep for a full nap. Em and Caleb happily saw that we kindly responded to Sam's needs in a timely and consistent fashion.
Likewise for my precious toddlers. I perservered through training them each to have an afternoon nap or quiet time. This was ultimately the kindest action. A tired toddler is an unhappy toddler, usually with a grumpy mum too. A well rested toddler is a happy one!
Monday, November 24, 2008
Jot Jottings
It is fun to keep a record of the humourous and delightful sayings of your precious little one.
In the hectic pace of this season, it is easy to let this slide.
I kept their blue baby book (communinty health record book)
in a drawer near the dining table. Here it was quick and easy
to jot down a hilarious saying or priceless moment.
These moments would take a mere minute to write down,
but thesoe little jottings are so valued now.
Although we do all hope to keep our memories and mind
intact for many years, it is nice to have a written reminder!!
In the hectic pace of this season, it is easy to let this slide.
I kept their blue baby book (communinty health record book)
in a drawer near the dining table. Here it was quick and easy
to jot down a hilarious saying or priceless moment.
These moments would take a mere minute to write down,
but thesoe little jottings are so valued now.
Although we do all hope to keep our memories and mind
intact for many years, it is nice to have a written reminder!!
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