Heart Issues - Sibling Arguments

Dulcie was arguing with her sister - again.

Every time mum entered the room Dulcie created an argument or conflict.

As mum would come over and sort it out, Dulcie would smile, quickly apologise, and play nicely again.

Mum wondered if Dulcie was simply craving attention. So before Dulcie played with her sister each afternoon, mum spent 10 minutes reading with her. It worked!


Donald played happily by himself but could not play nicely with his brother. No matter how many toys were out, Donald always wanted what his brother had.

Dad saw the root of selfishness in Donald's heart. So he had Donald chose his box of toys before the playtime started. His brother chose his own box. They played happily side by side.

Dad also spent time with Donald as his helper, serving the family by keeping the backyard tidy and the cars clean and running smoothly. As they worked, Dad spoke a bit about thinking of others first. Slowly Donald's heart began to change.


Dudley tried so hard to play nicely with his sister. They would take turns with the toys but he just didn't know how to fix some issues.

His parents realised that they hadn't spent the time with him showing how to work through conflict. So they role played a bit, and jumped in just when a situation was beginning, guiding the siblings as they talked it out. Over the next few months Dudley acquired the skills he needed to resolve issues.



So hopefully this little series has helped you see that knowing the root of the issue can help you reach the heart of the child. The problem can have a number of different causes. Parenting the heart takes much longer than just dealing with the behaviour, but the fruit is lasting.

Heart Issues - Independent Play Struggles

Dina lasted about 3 minutes in room play each morning. Then she would wander out with a question, a plea for help or an offer of a hug. She wanted attention all the time.

To extend Dina's ability to be content and play independently her mum continued play time each morning for 10 - 15 minutes. Music would play and when a certain song would begin, mum would return for the pack up of the toys.

With calm consistency Dina gradually built up to a 30 - 40 minute room play each day.



Dominic strongly disliked room play. His issue was control. He wanted to choose each part of each day. He expressed his opinion in a very open manner.

His parents gently showed their authority. A chart was drawn up with pictures showing the activities that formed the pattern of the day. The chart dictated what came next in the day.

As Dominic saw that his parents, and not himself, were responsible for the decisions of the day, the battle over room play minimised greatly.



Dolly seemed lost in room play. She was happy to sit there, but didn't seem to engage with her toys much at all.

So mum sat with her for the first few minutes of room play and would start a puzzle, or commence building a castle or set out a tea party for the doll. This gave Dolly ideas of how to play with her toys.

In one-to-one time each day mum chose a variety of toys to play with and so modelled to Dolly new ways to use her toys.

Dolly began to look forward to room play.