Sunday, January 29, 2012
My kids do a lot of household chores – between the four of them
they keep the kitchen, bathroom, family room clean and tidy, they
do the family laundry and look after outside chores as well. They
are totally responsible for their own bedroom and ironing. They
each cook a few evening meals a month.
What is left for me to do you may ask!
My main responsibility is to train them in their responsibilities.
I may not be doing much of the actual chores, but I am training.
*Training in and of itself is a chore – it is my job every day. *
There is a downside to this though – your house may not look like
you wish it did, it won’t look like a magazine cover. As
homemakers ourselves, we have to come to a place of contentment
– that our home is a training ground, it isn’t a showcase.
When my kids were little I of course did these tasks, but I had my
children working alongside of me; learning, not only the skills,
the how-to, but also the heart for work, for serving and for being
a team. Doing household chores is a very good heart training
ground. If we aren’t careful though we forget the heart and just
get the house clean.
So the important things to teach are:
-A heart for work – a work ethic, and an ability to do the tasks
-A heart to serve others – we live in this house together - we do
each other’s laundry, we wash each other’s plates, we clean the
bathroom so it is nice for the next person.
-A heart for the family – we are a team and we work together, play
together, and pray together.
As I have said in the past, a key motivator for me is that I want
my children to have the skills necessary to look after their own
responsibilities as an adult: their time, possessions, money, and
self. I also want them to have the skills necessary to look after
other people – to be able to help people outside of themselves.
It is important that we know, deep in our heart – that we are
convinced, *why* we are teaching our children these chores. Once I
know my ‘why’ I can start to work on ‘what’ I’m going teach,
‘when’, and ‘how’. If we don’t know why then we will feel bad when
our children challenge our decisions.
Training really is a full time job. Remember training our kids
-Showing them how it is done – being a model
-Teaching them – breaking each skill down, talking it through,
-Letting them practice – don’t walk away and leave them to it
after you’ve taught them, continue to be by their side, guiding
and adjusting their efforts
-Let them be responsible – once they are doing a good job
consistently, walk away and let it be their responsibility –
don’t hover but do make them accountable. Get them to report back,
you go and check it and either praise them for a job well done, or
get them to repeat it if it hasn’t been done right.
Sometimes it is just easier to get in and get it done yourself –
but you are short changing your kids if you do this. Training is
emotionally draining as well as time consuming. But you and your
children will reap the benefits. If you want to increase what your
children are doing around the house – spend this week observing
all that you do and ask yourself the question – which one of your
children could do this task? Or - Which one of your children needs
training in this task? Take notes and start to prepare for a time
of training and adjustment. They may or may not need training,
they may need reminding and encouragement, but bit by bit get your
children to do the things you know they are capable of doing, then
move onto training them to do a little bit more.
As a wife and mother we wear many hats – now you can add Trainer
to the list!
Read more on Belinda's website:
What Every Child should know Along the Way
is a very helpful book as it gives a list of household
responsibility (aka chores) that the authors consider age
appropriate. You may tweak them (as I have a little) but it does
give you a guide and a starting place. It also has a great section
on Character training.
Belinda blogs during the week over at Live life with your Kids Blog
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Maybe This Year
2012 at 7:49 pm
by Nicole Whitacre
Filed under Biblical Womanhood Spiritual Growth
Each year we make New Year's resolutions for things we want to change, but we also have New Year's hopes for things we can't change, but wish we could. We long to receive certain desires of our heart that seem elusively out of reach. And maybe, just maybe, we will see those hopes fulfilled this year.
When I was single, I hoped for a husband. Maybe this year, he will come. I imagined myself married by the following New Year, or at least engaged. Maybe the New Year was holding my future husband in the wings. God eventually gave me an amazing husband, but new hopes still sprang up with each New Year's Day. When we lived in a teeny apartment, I wanted to move to a bigger place. When I experienced secondary infertility, I wanted to have another child. Maybe this year.
I'm sure you have hopes for this year. They are probably whatever you are thinking about right now.
But in her book, Keep A Quiet Heart, Elisabeth Elliot encourages us to focus on the most important of New Year's hopes:
“Will the young woman find a mate? Will the couple have a child? Maybe this year will be the year of desire fulfilled. Perhaps, on the other hand, it will be the year of desire radically transformed, the year of finding, as we have perhaps not yet truly found, Christ to be the All-Sufficient One, Christ the ‘deep sweet well of Love’” (page 49, emphasis mine).
This year, let us ask God to dissolve all our hopes (however good they may be!) into a single hope: to know Christ and to be found in Him. May this be a year of desire radically transformed, a deeper, truer, knowing of Christ as our All-Sufficient One.
“But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord” (Philippians 3:7-8a).
Article taken from
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