Looking Back: Teen Mum #4

 

Things that I am glad I did when the kids were younger

 

1. ROUTINE – helped with having a sense of control as well as training

2. FAMILY NIGHT – planned, intentional time together

• Themes etc
• Priority in week
• Kids look forward to it/can be involved in planning
• Also opportunity to use for training – eg self control/forgiveness
• Prayer nights/different nights of focus
• Helps with family identity

3. READING NIGHT


4. TEACHING MANNERS – hard hard work but you hope it eventually pays off!

• Mr/Mrs,
• Asking ‘may I’
• Interrupt rule
   
  The funnel – ‘begin as you mean to go’ – much easier to let out the funnel than start with it wide open and realise you have problems and need to rein things in.
   
   

1 thing I wish I did do or wish I didn’t do

 

Wish I didn’t do/could have done better – ongoing! – let my mood govern a situation – modelling my OWN self-control. Comes down to being humble, acknowledging sin, realising need God’s help in every single situation and that He is the one that gives me self-control.

 

Also having a community of like-minded friends who are on the same page really, really helps, especially when the choices you make for your family are unpopular with them!!

Looking Back: Teen Mum #3

Looking back: Teen mum #3

 

Thankful for:

1. A plan for each day. Simply having a pattern of what I wanted the day to look like gave me a starting point and a basic idea of what to do next. The day never followed the plan perfectly, but it was a great guide to have, especially on those (many) tiring days.

 

1. A big picture plan. I had an idea of what I wanted my little ones to be like when they were 18 year old young men and women. So when I was making decisions for the day, It is the daily decisions that shape character and direction so I could say 'yes' or 'no' on the basis of my long term goal.
    

Regret:

1. I am thankful that I focused a lot of my training on self-control. However, if I could go back in time I would focus more training on controlling emotions. Our emotions scream at us to be heard and obeyed, and listening to facts over feelings is a great basis for wise decision making in adulthood.

Looking back: Teen Mum #2

Positive #1

So thankful I chose to hang out with other like-minded mums. It encouraged me to keep going and to know that I wasn't alone in my parenting journey.

Positive #2

So grateful that I was able to stay at home when my two girls were tiny and then to only work part time when they were at school.

I loved spending time with them, just playing and doing craft and being present for all their milestones. I have a record of the little things they used to do and say and that is a lovely memory now.

Wish

I do wish I had been more firm with my bossy child when she was young. I paid for it later as we had to deal with bigger issues in her pre-teen years.

I enjoy my two beautiful teen girls now and have a lovely relationship with each of them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Looking Back: Teen Mum #1

 

At a recent GEMS meeting a few mums of teens shared some advice from their own parenting journey.

They each shared two things they were glad they had done when their teens were toddlers, and one thing they regret not doing.

The young mums who were there really appreciated this advice so I thought I would share their words of wisdom here.

 

1. I’m so glad my husband and I had coach time most nights. This was just a time each night when my husband and I would spend 10 – 15 minutes talking together. The children were not allowed to interrupt and we were giving them a tangible reminder of the priority of the marriage relationship.

2. I’m so glad I had a flexible routine. This was more helpful to me than the children at times! It helped make the myriad of tasks I has to perform each day manageable. It also gave me a basis plan for my day as opposed to making all the decisions on the spot.

3. I most regret my lack of consistency. So often this was the root of a particular issue. I know the importance of consistency in terms of training godly character qualities into the hearts of my children. This is still something I am working on!

 

 

No's

 

My day is filled with ‘no’s’. This is not fun for me or my toddler.

How can I make the day more manageable for him and me?

 

Toddlers are busy.

They love to run, explore and play.

They enjoy talking and singing and being loud.

They are little and still fairly new at this thing called life.

We are big and fairly experienced at this thing called life.

So we should be in charge of the day.

We have been around longer and understand the importance of nutrition, safety, sleep requirements and varied indoor and outdoor play opportunities.

Having a pattern for the day that includes a balance between quiet and slow activities with the loud and busy activities is best.

Print out the pattern for the day (with pictures) and place it in a prominent place in the house. Refer to it often.

Watch most of the ‘no’s’ disappear within a few weeks. J

 

I have two beautiful children – a  3 year old and an 18 month old.

My day is chaos. Please help.

This is a busy season for you. Each day will be long and full.

There will be messes and tears.

This is very normal.

To make things a little bit more manageable for you and calmer for you and your precious wee ones, try to have a bit of a pattern for your day.

Balance the day between independent play times ( so they learn self-play adeptness skills and you get a chance to tacckle some household tasks),

some focus play time (where you enjoy this special stage and their little love tank is filled to overflowing),

some sibling play time (at a time when you can supervise and promote their friendship)

and some side-by-side play times (where you work on household tasks while they enjoy their play).

Let the pattern be a help to you, not a stress.

On a lovely sunny day your outside play may take up most of the morning.

On a grumpy, grizzly day, the TV time may be extended.

Have an idea of what the day will look like yet be prepared for change too!